Come to God as you are. Let him show you the ugliness of your heart. Let him show you the extent of your sin. Face it and call it what it is. Own up to it, own up to what you have turned yourself into.
Then let him embrace you. Do not shy away from his love. He will accept you as you are and will hold you despite the state that you are in. He will work alongside you to change that dark, small heart into one that is bright, and with plenty of room to let him and others into it. He will occupy your heart with love and people.
Return to him. He will embrace you and hold you there. Let him embrace you.

i'm on a suicide mission
eyes got kamikaze vision
my flesh you will be missing
cause it'll be sleeping with the fishes

I am going to try and post more regularly from now on. Once a week or so.

Tomorrow I am starting class again! RAWR! After over 3 months of no school and only part-time work, I think this is going to be tough.

The good news is that I will be re-taking Adv. Golf! I actually first learned Golf this past Fall quarter. I took Adv. Golf without any real experience in golf whatsoever. The only reason I was able to stay in the class and learn was I had my friend who is a good golf coach teach me and the professor who teaches that course is real chill. Basically my friend David would personally work with my swing twice a week so that I can hit it 70 yards consistently while everyone else in the class was hitting it past 150 yards.

I never really appreciated golf until I really started to learn it. It takes a lot of patience to learn. David likes to put it this way: "You can never be 'good' at golf, it's impossible to be the perfect player". Luckily for me, I like to test my patience. It is so fascinating to see the ball go a completely different direction even though a minute ago you did what you thought was the EXACT SAME swing.

The golfing range has a strange aura of peace. When you step onto the box and look at the green expanse, your nerves start to calm down. That is, until you hit a bad ball. But even then, it takes away a lot of other worries or burdens that you are carrying, and you can just focus on your swing. I understand now why people are addicted to golf.

My grandpa is an avid golfer. If you visit his house, most of the walls are lined with various golfing trophies he has won over the many years of playing. I asked for any old clubs he has, and he went into this garage and thumbed through his dozens of clubs and handed me 8 clubs for me to work with - 2 drivers, 1 putter, 1 wedge, and 4 irons (9,9,8,6). I have been up until now working with mostly just a 7 iron, but I guess I will expand my golfing-vocab a bit this quarter. He also gave me an old golf bag and a glove. My hope one day is to be able to go and play with him; he is looking forward to it too, as he lost his favorite golfing partner - my grandmother who passed away last fall.

Here's to my last quarter of school!